Lost Loves

When I'm with you I feel this sense of security the aroma around me is warming, safe and some where I want to be. I loved you before I want to love you again. You let so much come between us, I like to blame our issues on you cause you pushed me away. You made a good thing fade. You let go and lost faith. The faith that I still hold on to from time to time. I sit here and say I want nothing to do with you, I delete your number I block you're whole existence, until the moment I lay down and shut my eyes. You come back. Every moment we spent together. Every place on my body you've touched tingles with excitement. Its as if I can still feel where you're lips had touch from my lips to my neck down to my stomach. It all comes back to me. Your hand is in my hand. It feels real. Then I wake to reality and a little bit of me dies inside. You were always someone I could in a way look up. You were at on point the one I knew I could get lost with and would not have a care in the world. I felt like sometimes I would have given anything for you. I fought for us, I fought for you. Then reality shock again and every thing broke I did not know who I was anyone or who you were. From late night texts saying I love you to dragged out fights about how I did you wrong, how I was the one to messed this up because I drank and I smoked and I hooked up with this guy. How I broke you're heart and lost your trust. You could not even look me in the eye. I lost myself trying for you, trying for 'us'. I should not have to change myself for you, or anyone.I fought, I fought hard now my fist are bloody, broke down, and achy. I fought my hardest and now after tonight I'm too weak to fight again. I see the real you, I see you for you and I loved what you wanted to be, what you still strive to be, and what you will NEVER be. I fought and I cant fight anymore, So this is my Good-Bye and Take Care